I must admit I am tired. I am so so so tired. Not just without sleep, though that too, but tired of dating. I put on this front for my dates and have what seems like a good time, but it feels so forced and I’m not really excited by it.
I will admit Tinder is not the best way to go about anything and every time I go on one of these dates I leave thinking these guys are weak, a quality I find extremely unattractive.
I wish I could meet you tomorrow, feel those butterflies in my stomach and that tingle in my finger tips. I want to fall head first into your arms.
Patience is not my virtue (as I’m sure you know), but I know you’ll be more than worth the wait. Until the day we finally meet, I will be loving you.
Sleep tight my handsome,
All my love,
Dear Mr. Dr. Staeheli,
Have I told you about my fears? I’m sure you know I hate heights (but will climb any mountain), hate spiders (but will scream while killing one if no one else will), despise horror films (but watch them anyways). Every fear mentioned so far, I manage to conquer when I need to, but their are a few more fears that I can’t even on my bravest day.
I am terrified of ending up alone. A year of being without a relationship put this fear back in my mind. What if no one will ever want me again? What if I don’t want anyone who wants me? What if these letters are addressed to no one?
This fear piggy backs onto the next one: being infertile. If I never get married, then maybe being infertile could be a perk of perpetual singleness. But what if I can never give you a child? I’ve always loved the idea of looking down into my babies eyes and being able to see a little bit of the people I love staring back at me. I’ve always wanted a big family (3-5 kids….maybe 6). I’ve always wanted to see little blue eyed babes running around the house or staying up with me to bake. What if we can never have that? What if by the time I’ve found you, I’m too old?
I’m 20 years old and terrified of being infertile and unmarried. I am a disgrace to feminism, but societal norms drive my dreams.
I would love to meet you tomorrow, get married right after grad school (let’s be a bit real here), and make babies until the cows come home.
But if there are no babies to make then know that we will be making love. And if there is no you to read this, then Laura I hope you are happy with your dogs, your adopted kids, your years of travel, your incredible career, and your beautiful self.
Sorry sweetie, I monopolized your letter.
I love you to the moon,
Dear Future Husband,
Hiya handsome:) I hope these letters put a smile on your face one day. You know my obsession with all things pinterest? Well…… I went through this phase of taking quizzes about meeting the love of my life. All said I would meet you soon or had already met you or that you were my ex (wouldn’t see that one coming) and now writing to you I wonder if that will be fulfilled.
I’ve also come to realize I like a challenge. A challenge of wit, of mind, & of life. I hope we challenge each other every day to be better than we were yesterday living a better life filled with adventure, laughter, and love.
Love you more than Halo Top Ice Cream handsome:)
Dear future husband,
I’m writing to you after heart break. I let the same guy break my heart twice in one year’s time. He rejected me and refused to try. I hate doing anything half assed as I’m sure you know and I hate it when other people do the same. He fell for a girl that was all of my insecurities rolled into one and then said I shouldn’t care. He was the first guy to steal my heart and you are the last. Please never break my heart. When I’m in love I give my whole heart. You see it all and I hope I do a good job reminding you every day how much I love and appreciate all that you are.
I can only assume you have the biggest smile that immediately brings a smile to my face and I can never take my eyes off of, beautiful eyes that not only hypnotize but express your every emotion (preferably blue or green ones;) and a laugh that not only makes me laugh but brings light to every room. I love all of those beautiful (seemingly shallow) qualities about you not only because they make you the fucking handsome man you are;) but also because they leak out some of your best qualities: your ability to love unconditionally and with great intensity, your ability to express your emotions even without words, and your amazing sense of humor that lifts me up even on the shittiest of days.
I cannot wait for you to be mine and I cannot wait to be yours. To wake up in your arms every morning, tell you about my crazy dreams and listen to you try to interpret them over toast, avocados, and scrambled eggs (my latest breakfast obsession) while I run around in underwear and your t-shirt in our own little kitchen in our first little place. I love you to infinity and beyond:))))